“Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.” - Robin Williams
Fire Starter was fascinated by the sudden resignation of County Executive Barbara Fiala. In the immediate aftermath, there has been no shortage of Republicans and Democrats lining up to replace Fiala. Maybe with these crowded fields, it is an opportunity for a third party candidate. As you might expect, we have a few suggestions of candidates and slogans.
John Bertoni - "Take off several months- The place practically runs itself" - The Do Nothing Party
No one can certainly fault Mayor Bertoni of Endicott for overworking. Since becoming mayor 3 1/2 years ago, he has definitely put in a solid six months worth of time in the Village. When he is not taking trips or playing cards with his cronies, he is being led around by the nose by Dennis Hannon. His strongest selling point is that he could hardly do any damage since he is hardly around. This may make him a leading candidate in our book.
JFA Stephen Hrustich - "Elect Hrustich - The life you save may be your own." - The Peter Principle Party
We have posted previously regarding Joint Fire administrator Hrustich's incompetence as an administrator and as a fire fighter. He has repeatedly cut corners in Johnson City and Endicott placing citizens at risk through under staffing and resulting delayed response times. Possibly his single greatest contribution to safety in these communities would be achieved by him leaving the fire service where his decisions have life and death consequences. As John Bertoni notes above, government practically runs itself.
Joint Police Chief Joe Zikuski - "a penny saved is a penny that should be spent". -The Spendthrift Party
We have pointed out previously that Zikuski has been given responsibility over two police departments and substantial budgets while historically his personal finances have been a train wreck. Having previously filed for bankruptcy and having frequently gone through financial turmoil, he has shown himself incapable of managing his personal life, much less substantial budgets for large organizations. But both Hannon and Ryan think he has the right stuff. And that's good enough for us.
Mayor Matt Ryan - "I've got endless ideas for more signs" -The Rhetoric Party
We were critical of Mayor Ryan's "cost of war signs". This political posturing on the public's dime illustrates everything that is bad with politicians. Although being County Executive may give hm more opportunities for more signs, we somehow doubt a "cost of health care reform" or a "cost of the stimulus bill" sign would be forthcoming. But we do believe that his empty headed platitudes and bromides may be just what we in Broome County need. Some good rhetoric is certainly more important than a super market on the north side of Binghamton...and much easier to achieve. At least we would feel like something is being done about our problems...even if it's all talk.
Mayor Dennis Hannon - "I'll do to Broome County what I have done to Johnson City" - The Demolition Party
And how could any list be complete without our own little emperor, Dennis Hannon. His systematic dismantling of the police and fire departments in the Village certainly puts him on any "short list". His willingness to abuse power to settle years old scores and prove his impotence...er...omnipotence certainly impresses. If he could only be elected as Broome County Executive, he could play on a bigger stage and tear apart bigger institutions. We could get to the point where only FOD's (Friends of Dennis) would be employed. Although they would be over payed and incompetent, there certainly would not be a lot of them. Who would want to admit being a Friend of Hannon's?
These are just a few suggestions. We are sure that as the political season approaches other ideas for candidates and slogans will arise...and we won't hesitate to share.